'American Idol' Finalist David Archuleta Had A Terrible Time On The Show
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'American Idol' Finalist David Archuleta Had A Terrible Time On The Show: "Programmed Not To Trust People"

American Idol finalist David Archuleta took the world by storm when he appeared on the show in 2008. He ultimately placed second in the competition. However, personally Archuleta said he had a terrible time on the show.

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Besides just the pressures of fame, Archuleta had to struggle with being a closeted gay man. Additionally, Archuleta said producers didn't great a trusting environment. "It's not just me," he told Forbes. "Several other contestants told me they thought they were the only ones going through this. It has affected many of us even years after being on the show."

Archuleta said he suffered from panic attacks and PTSD.  "You're programmed not to trust people when you're on the show, at least at the time we were on it," he said. "I've spoken with former contestants who go back to appear on Idol, and they say, 'I don't know if I can handle this.' And I've felt like that performing, too, terrified and wondering why it was affecting me that way. It makes you ask, 'What was the mindset this show brings you to have as a performer?' When you perform, you have a persona and become a character for everyone else. There are some parts that are you and other parts that are not."

David Archuleta Reflects On Upbringing

Besides just appearing on American Idol, Archuleta also struggled with his upbringing as a Mormon. He was told in his youth that he would go to hell if he was gay. "When you grow up in an environment where you're told not to even acknowledge your sexuality because it's not okay, you get an inkling that it's possible that can be inside of you, and you disregard it," he told me. "It's scary to even play with that idea. I didn't know that I was too afraid that it could be me until I couldn't hold it in anymore."

Ultimately, both Archuleta and his family left the church.

"A few days after I publicly announced leaving the Mormon church my mom texted me saying she had decided to leave, too. I was shocked as she was so devout. I asked what made her feel she needed to leave because she didn't need to follow my example. She said 'If you go to Hell, we're all going to Hell with you. We're a family, and we'll always be there for each other, in good or in bad!' I was really moved by that."