The priest has yet to be identified, by the way. Just to emphasize the insanity ahead. So, per the Catholic News Agency, an unidentified priest -- who we'll call "Walter" for this piece -- was busted for cooking crystal meth. In his rectory. The Polish priest served in the Austrian Diocese of St. Pölten since 2021.
"Investigators from the State Criminal Police Office searched the rectory following an order by the public prosecutor's office," the publication reports. Indeed, during the raid, lab equipment and "chemicals for producing illegal drugs" were found. Subsequently, authorities were able to figure out that the drugs were intended to be sold.
The Diocese of St. Pölten quickly responded to the allegations, suspending the priest. They would tell the media that Walter was "prohibited from carrying out any pastoral activities within the diocese."
A spokesman for the Warsaw Archdiocese stated, "The diocesan authorities will soon take the necessary legal and canonical measures, in coordination with the diocese in Austria." By the time Walter was discovered, police found that he'd been in the "early stages" of drug production. Police investigations are ongoing.
A Catholic Priest Has Been Arrested For Cooking Meth
I'm sorry, I have to mention the New York Post here. Their headline for covering this story? Perfection. "From breaking bread to 'Breaking Bad': Catholic priest confesses to cooking crystal meth in rectory." Untouchable. Usually, I cover most news seriously, but since nobody was hurt or died, let's have some fun with it!
"'Jesus we need to cook' -Father White-" one Instagram post joked. I'm not going to lie, y'all, this time? The internet exceeded my expectations.
"The communion wine wasn't getting it done for the altar boys." See? I've been critical of the internet's ability to rise to the occasion when insanity happens. But I certainly feel like a proud father right about now!
"Catholic priests like any other people will struggle with the bad in their life .. they are human and imperfect. God wanted it that way. Show me a group of perfect people and you will not be able to name one."
...The guy was gearing up to sell a bunch of drugs, man. I know that people are fans of forgiveness, but I have a feeling even higher powers would call this one for the crime it is!
