Oh, how the mighty have fallen. From Sesame Street to Crime Alley. Cookie Monster is a known addict. Additionally, he gobbles up cookies like a disappointed father who didn't reach his life's goals gobbles up pills. Mr. Monster has since escalated, as unchecked criminals do. You see, Cookie Monster is a Muppet of means. So, he needs his next fix, and he'll get it one way or another.
Watch this blue demon participating in grand theft auto -- and I'm not talking about the video game. We're through with games. Now, we only want justice. Surely enough, Mr. Monster was caught in Germany, speeding in an Audi. Per The Sun, a police camera caught the felon in 4K. Further, he was clocked doing at least 60 MPH... in a 50 MPH zone.
Cookie Monster bizarrely caught speeding on traffic cam ? but cops were not amused https://t.co/ATeA5NaTo6 pic.twitter.com/Wz6XL97qcU
— New York Post (@nypost) October 9, 2024
You know he's on his way to The Great Cookie. ...Or any other place that primarily sells cookies. That son of a gun is out here endangering lives! However, a spokesperson representing the police, Peter Bandermann, commented on the tragic downfall of a former children's show icon. "The fun of wearing a mask from the Muppet Show can quickly turn serious. It won't help the relatives of a person who has been killed if the person who did it tearfully regrets their mask fun in court." ...Wait, what?
Cookie Monster Commits A Crazed Crime
What do they mean "mask"? I think I know Cookie Monster when I see him! ...Wait, the car was registered to a 57-year-old guy? Well, does he like cookies? ...Oh. Okay, I see. I just got off the phone with my editor, and he told me that Cookie Monster doesn't exist.
Indeed, Arndt Kempgens, a traffic expert lawyer, added his insight. "The owner usually has the right to refuse to give evidence. But if he admits to having worn the mask or names the driver, it can be more expensive. Violating the ban on wearing a mask while driving can be punished with an additional 60 euros." Well, I guess they're looking for some random guy.
Then again, how do we know that wasn't Cookie Monster? It's not like he was stopped. We don't know if that was a costume or not! These Sesame Street folks are cold, calculating beasts. Basically, they want us to think they don't exist!
