Ever since the release of Carly Simon's "You're So Vain" and Fleetwood Mac's entire Rumours album, music fans have been slightly obsessed with the real life relationships that have inspired their favorite heartbreak songs. Leave it to country-pop icon Taylor Swift, queen of secret coded lyrical and liner notes messages, to revive our interests all over again. For years, fans have speculated over which Swift songs are about men she's dated. And with the release of Speak Now (Taylor's Version) (out July 7), there's one song in particular that's been a hot topic of conversation among the Swiftie community: "Dear John."
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Who is Taylor Swift's 'Dear John' About?
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"Dear John," from Swift's 2010 album Speak Now, is about an older man and a relationship marred by "dark, twisted games" and a "sick need to give love, then take it away." Let's just say that the "John" in question does not come off well in this song. Who would want to own up to being the subject of such a savage takedown?
Well, one man did and that man was John Mayer. In a 2012 interview with Rolling Stone, the rocker said the song "humiliated me."
"I never got an e-mail. I never got a phone call," Mayer told Rolling Stone. "I was really caught off-guard, and it really humiliated me at a time when I'd already been dressed down. I mean, how would you feel if, at the lowest you've ever been, someone kicked you even lower?"
Mayer also called "Dear John" "cheap songwriting."
"I will say as a songwriter that I think it's kind of cheap songwriting," Mayer said. "I know she's the biggest thing in the world, and I'm not trying to sink anybody's ship, but I think it's abusing your talent to rub your hands together and go, 'Wait till he gets a load of this!' That's bullsh-t."
Swift has never revealed who inspired the song. In fact, when told of Mayer's response to the song, Swift responded with "How presumptuous! I never disclose who my songs are about."
In fairness to Mayer, he isn't the only one convinced the song was written about the "Your Body is a Wonderland" singer. And there's plenty of evidence to suggest Mayer inspired the scorching "Dear John" letter. Swift and Mayer were linked in late 2009 and 2010 (Swift had just turned 20) and collaborated on Mayer's song "Half of My Heart," from 2009's Battle Studies.
'Paper Doll'
In 2013, Mayer recorded "Paper Doll," which many listeners believed was written in response to Swift. I guess this is just the way it works with singer-songwriters. It's kind of like when you just have to get the last word with your ex, but with Grammy awards.
"You're like twenty-two girls in one," Mayer sings. "And none of them know what they're runnin' from." Fans speculated that Mayer's "twenty-two" reference could be a nod to Swift's song "22," which was released a year before "Paper Doll." Other lyrics in the song seem to reference Swift's "Dear John." Swift sings "you paint me a blue skyand go back and turn it to rain." On "Paper Doll," Mayer sings "And if those angel wings don't fly/ Someone's gonna paint you another sky."
Mayer refused to confirm that the song was about the "Shake it Off" singer in a 2015 interview with Ronan Farrow.
"I'm not in the business of telling people what the song is about. I never said anything about it," Mayer said. "And now I just go, 'Look, I can say the name Taylor Swift. She's an artist. I'm an artist. Let's just...everybody stop. Nobody's got an incurable cancer. We're rich people who get to live out our dreams. Let's just stop it...It's really about the longevity of all the work that goes together, and I'm just not interested in the things that won't last forever."
'Would've, Could've, Should've'
"Dear John" isn't the only Swift song believed to be about Mayer. "Would've Could've Should've," which Swift released as a bonus track on her 2022 album Midnights, reflects on an age-gap relationship Swift was a part of when she was 19 years old. "I damn sure never would've danced with the devil at nineteen," Swift sings.
But as she often does, Swift saves the most devastating lyric for the song's bridge, singing: "If clarity's in death, then why won't this die?/ Years of tearing down our banners, you and I/ Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts/ Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first."
Another clue? The song is track 19 on the album -- the same age Swift was when she dated Mayer. Now this could be a coincidence -- if it was any other artist. But any dedicated Swiftie knows that Taylor loves leaving easter eggs for her fans, so it seems likely that the track number was intentional. Swift also released the song when she was 32 -- the same age Mayer was when he dated Swift.
What Has Taylor Swift Said About 'Dear John'?
Swift still hasn't confirmed who the song is about and likely never will, but before playing "Dear John" during her Eras Tour stop in Minneapolis, Swift shared a message to fans.
"I was hoping to ask you, that as we lead up to this album, I would love for that kindness and that gentleness to extend onto our internet activities. Right?" Swift told the crowd. "So what I'm trying to say is, I'm putting this album out because I want to own my music and I believe that [those] who have the desire to own their music should be able to. That's why I'm putting out this album."
"I'm 33 years old, I don't care about anything that happened to me when I was 19 except the songs I wrote," Swift continued. "So what I'm trying to tell you, is that I am not putting this album out so you should feel the need to defend me on the internet against someone you think I wrote a song about 14 million years ago."
So there you have it. Swift has moved on from the heartbreak and left us all with one perfect, scathing breakup anthem.
Dear John Lyrics:
Counting my footsteps,
Praying the floor won't fall through, again
My mother accused me of losing my mind,
But I swore I was fine, you paint me a blue sky
And go back and turn it to rain
And I lived in your chess game,
But you changed the rules every day
Wondering which version of you I might get on the phone
Tonight, well I stopped picking up, and this song is to let you know why
Don't you think I was too young to be messed with?
The girl in the dress, cried the whole way home, I should've known
Maybe it's you and your sick need to give love then take it away
And you'll add my name to your long list of traitors who don't understand
And I'll look back and regret how I ignored when they said "run as fast as you can"
Don't you think I was too young to be messed with?
The girl in the dress, cried the whole way home
Don't you think nineteen is too young
To be played by your dark twisted games, when I loved you so?
I should've known
And keeping the lines blurry
Never impressed by me acing your tests
All the girls that you've run dry
Have tired, lifeless eyes
'Cause you burned them out
But I took your matches before fire could catch me,
So don't look now, I'm shining like fireworks over your sad empty town
Don't you think I was too young to be messed with?
The girl in the dress, cried the whole way home.
Don't you think I was too young to be messed with?
The girl in the dress wrote you a song
You should've known, you should've known
Don't you think I was too young? You should've known
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