Virtually every other publication covering this did the Hulk Hogan bit. But, hey. When in Rome, right? Welcome to Wide Open Country, Hulkamaniacs! Today, Brother, we're gonna talk about the Hulkster's newest business endeavor. You see, Dude, Hulkamania hates how divided our country has become! You know how he proposes to bring us all together, Brother?
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Only with his new Real American Beer!
Bringing America back together one beer at a time, with Real American Beer.
Coming to a city near you ?.#realamericanbeer#realamericansummer#newbeerrelease pic.twitter.com/M3lbQaVVV7
— Real American Beer (@realamerbeer) June 13, 2024
You hear that, Dude? It's going to be a regular Real American Summer! As a matter of fact, Hogan himself told Fox News his vision for the beer! "It doesn't matter who you are, what you are, what your sex is, race, color, creed, what you believe in. This is for real Americans, and that's what we all are," the Hulkster told the outlet.
"We are more alike than we are different, but we really need to sit down and have a conversation. So that's why Hulk Hogan's Real American Beer, brother, is going to bring America back together one beer at a time."
Democrat? Brother. Republican? Dude. With this beer, we'll all unite under one party: Hulkamania!
Indeed, the beer will be distributed across 17 states this summer, launching with retail partners including ABC Fine Wine & Spirits, Albertsons, Safeway, Sam's Club, Total Wine & More, Walmart, and many others.
Hulk Hogan Launches Real American Beer Brand To Save America
Over on the Real American Beer official website, we can find out what exactly to expect from the Hulkster's secret brew!
"Real American Beer is a premium American style light lager made for you, right here in the USA," the website brags. "Made from 100% North American malt and hops. It's brewed longer and cold fermented making a light, crisp and easy-drinking beer."
Oh, Brother. I think I'm sold! Finally, a drink for Real Americans.
Okay, okay. Enough of the silliness. Truthfully, the whole thing is ridiculous enough for me to offer a soft approval. Does Hulk Hogan have a spotty past? Yes. But, maybe Hulkamania has seen the light. Racism? Over. Divisiveness over politics? A thing of the past, Jack! The only question that's left is this: WHATCHA GONNA DO WHEN HULKAMANIA'S BEER RUNS WILD ON YOU (mainly, your bank account)?!