Oh, Jelly Roll. Welcome to "Quintessential First World Problems"! I'm your host, and we're about to get into all the sock-based tomfoolery! Per PEOPLE, Mr. Roll had quite the proclamation for us.
"Can I tell you a frivolous habit I have?" Jelly Roll says, trying to lull us into a false sense of security. Then, he drops it. "Don't judge me for this, y'all. I promise I grew up very humble, but I only wear socks once." Evidently, he buys socks in bulk to avoid re-wearing the same pair.
"It's the most frivolous thing I've done with my success," Mr. Roll asserts. "I'm sorry, I hope I didn't let nobody down with that."
Jelly Roll, how could you? I can somewhat sympathize with coming into some money and developing some odd quirks, sure! Holy Rolly is entitled to his sock sadism. But if you're reading this right now, I want you to humor a teeny-tiny thought experiment with me. It'll just take a second. ...I'd tell you to close your eyes and imagine the portrait I'm about to paint for you, but then you can't read the actual scenario.
It's raining — a downpour, at that. You're walking down the street, fighting against the elements. Suddenly, a car runs over a deep, muddy puddle you're walking past. You're now drenched from head to toe. You probably say a few curse words, too.
When you return home, what do you do with your soiled, dirty outfit?
A.) Say "Welp, I guess this outlived its usefulness!" and throw it in the trash?
or B.) Throw the outfit in the washing machine like a regular human being?
Jelly Roll Admits He Only Wears A Pair Of Socks Once And The Internet Has Thoughts
Laundry is a thing.
— ReallyRealScott (@GrateScotty) May 22, 2024
Thank you. X (formerly Twitter) can be — and usually is — a dumpster fire of biblical proportions. I've never agreed with a comment so fast. What's your foot situation to where you wear a pair of socks once and the socks are irreversibly ruined? To the point that a washer and dryer can do nothing for them?
Repellent man. A sign of our decaying culture
— TheFinalDeucklah (@stanswitekFPS) May 22, 2024
Aaaaaand there's the trash fire I'm used to! Everything has to be deadly serious and any fun or silliness is indicative of humanity's downfall.
You know what, Jelly, ol' boy? Do you. You've earned the right to waste perfectly good socks.
