Secrets are spilling out all over the place on this week's new episode of Monarch. In "Confessions," the family is struggling to handle the news that Catt is Albie's daughter. There's some suggestion that they should keep the news a secret, but Luke's convinced it will come out. The family has to control the narrative before it goes public, he contends, though Gigi counters with, "If there's one thing this family knows, it's how to hide the truth." She does admit, though, that if the news does come out at some point, "it'll make one hell of a podcast." I think we can expect the family to make some half-baked mass announcement about Ana and Catt at some point, but we'll see if anyone cares.
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Speaking of caring: Gigi made the big list of Country Music's 40 under 40, much to Nicky's dismay. Luke suggests Monarch host a party to celebrate all the nominees, later saying that they're the future of the genre. Now, I'm 41, and I contend that I'm nowhere near middle-aged, but I still have a hard time believing that in 2022, people "under 40" are the future of country music, especially with all the young twentysomethings we see popping most of the time. I suppose I'd buy people in their early thirties, because they're still under 40, but I digress.
The D.A.'s hot on the Romans' trail, but Nicky is more concerned about going on tour
Albie goes to apologize to D.A. Uncle Tripp for his threats, then quickly turns around and makes them again. Tripp appears to have grown a set, though, and he tells Albie that he "wouldn't say we're good." We eventually learn that Albie took the wrap for a vehicular homicide that Tripp committed back in the '70s or '80s, because the D.A. had a future ahead of him and Albie didn't think he did, but not before Albie storms out of the room just as a legal intern comically dashes in to tell Tripp the DNA results are back in. It's not Clive's blood, of course, nor is it Albie's. It does appear to be one of the kids', however, and I would bet money it's Nicky's. I still feel like she could explain that away—they were married, after all, and she could have driven his car—but the show's going to make a big deal out of it anyway. Also, I bet if push came to shove she'd be a terrible liar, because that just feels like the type of person she is.
One thing Nicky can't lie about is how frustrated she is that she's not on tour. Here's where I will say that I think it's patently absurd that she wouldn't have any tour, especially since she won single of the year at whatever awards show was held a couple of weeks back. Does she not have a booking agent? Will she only do arenas, and not smaller theaters? It seems like she could easily fill the latter, given what we know about her.
This is not how it works in the music industry
Either way, Earl puts a bee in her bonnet about the Yellow Roses, which is a tour supposedly made up of Kelsea Ballerini, Lee Ann Womack, and a third person that was supposed to be Maren Morris. Putting aside that this tour makes no sense because they could all headline on their own just fine, Nicky decides she wants to be on this tour, period. She talks to Luke, who calls Earl the TMZ of country music, but who agrees to talk to the tour manager (???) to see if he could get her on the dates. Again, 100 percent not what a tour manager does. He'd probably have to talk to the other gals' managers or booking agents, but is he Nicky's manager? Or just the label manager? It's all pretty blurry, so let's just say you shouldn't expect to learn anything real about the music industry by watching Monarch.
Over in the studio, Jamie tells Albie that he needs one more song for his record, suggesting it should be about something "that you wish you did or you wish you never did." "When you bleed all over this paper, that's when the album will truly be done," Jamie quips. Albie seems to take the notion to heart, eventually penning a song about murder that Luke and Nicky think is tantamount to a confession. One could argue it's not, given the fact that Johnny Cash did not, we assume, shoot a man in Reno just to watch him die, but it does seem a little iffy to release that track when Tripp and company are sniffing around the family in relation to Clive's disappearance. Either way, I think Albie would be happy to go back to jail and take the rap for the whole thing, so I doubt he cares too much one way or the other.
There's a new bartender at the Tilted Spoke. Her name is Willa and she's quickly suspicious, since she seems to know a little bit too much about the family. We learn later that, yep, she's actually an investigator working for the D.A.'s office, but we'll come back to that.
More Roman Family blackmail
After keeping the Yellow Roses' tour manager waiting for an hour, Nicky breezes into the bar for a quick but rollicking performance of Luke Bryan's "Country Girl (Shake It For Me)." She impresses the buyer, but he tells Luke they've already got someone in mind for that spot, and her name is Gigi Roman. When Nicky goes to confront Gigi, the younger sister is questioning whether she should even go, what with a young daughter at home and another kid on the way. Nicky balks, telling Gigi, "Do you know what I would do to be in your position?" We eventually find out, when she threatens Kayla, telling her she has to convince Gigi to drop out, lest Nicky reveal her affair with Luke—which, by the way, seems like it honestly never happened at this point, given how quickly it went away.
It's worth noting that Nicky's decision to blackmail Kayla came after a conversation with Earl, who also works for Gigi, so way to be a backstabber, Earl. He tells Nicky that "Gigi's fun," calling her, "the kind of girl you can have a burger and a beer with." Still, he says, "Who wants a burger when you can have filet mignon?" He reminds Nicky that Dottie would have done just about anything to get on that tour, essentially activating Nicky's bitch switch. Eventually, Nicky walks the whole thing back with both Kayla and Gigi, but not until Gigi drops off the tour on her own accord. Turns out Nicky doesn't actually want to be like her a**hole mom, no matter how talented she was. It's nice that she recognizes it, especially since part of being an adult is supposedly just trying to correct the mistakes our parents made when they were raising us.
Trouble in paradise
Catt tells Ana about who her grandpa is, and Ana understandably freaks out, telling her mother that this undermines her credibility as an artist. When this gets out, Ana says, everyone will think she just got on Monarch because of who her family is. Catt says that's not true, and when Ana asks if she has to break up with Ace, there's some wishy-washiness because of course there is, and Ana explodes, telling her mom, "All you care about is how it looks." Ace, she reminds her mother, was adopted and so it shouldn't matter, but let's be very clear here: It would 100 percent matter to the public if two famous, closely-related cousins were dating, no matter their genetics. They'd be the butt of thoughtless jokes, and they'd have an uphill battle to climb in the eyes of the public. Catt doesn't want that for her daughter, and Ana is just too naive to realize it yet.
Nicky and Jamie have a sad exchange over Jamie being offered a job heading up a country crossover label at Capitol and Nicky not being able to tell him not to take it. She tells him, "You can't give something like that up for me. What if my tour comes through?" This, of course, ignores the fact that her tour would probably be for like three months, and his new job would be forever, but whatever. She's all in her head. Later, he turns down the job, and she seems happy about it, so all is right in that relationship, at least until Jamie turns out to be some evil schemer, which I think is how this is going to end up.
Gigi performs Carrie Underwood's "Before He Cheats" at the '40 Under 40' awards, and next, we see Ace, who's driven 10 hours in the blink of an eye to find Ana at the pool by her apartment in Albuquerque. He tries to console her, but she's not having it, and he wanders off to some bar nearby to get a burger. The bartender quickly recognizes him and calls him out in front of everyone—not cool, bartender—asking Ace to play a song. He hedges, but Ana comes up behind him and tells him to play. He cajoles her into getting onstage with him, and they play Andy Grammer's "Fresh Eyes." It's clear there's something between them, no matter Ace's promise to his mom to break it off, and the pair agree to still love each other but cool it off for now.
Meanwhile back in Austin, we find Albie looking at his new LP hot off the presses. (Again, seems unlikely...). It's called Confessions, aptly, and we quickly bounce to Willa entering Tripp's office with cups that each Roman kid drank out of at the bar. They're all labeled and in evidence bags, and while I don't think that evidence would hold up in court given that Willa presented herself under false pretenses and stole from private property, we're just going to have to pretend that that doesn't matter, because this is Monarch and not Law & Order. Justice just works differently around these parts.
Random Observations:
- I love Gigi's line, "Does this outfit say '40 under 40,' or does it say 'Who stole two suits off the '20 Under 20' rack?'" I personally thought she looked hot, so go Beth Ditto. Props to whoever the show has costuming her, because they really are doing a great job.
READ MORE: Punk Singer and Fashion Icon Beth Ditto Plays Gigi Taylor-Roman on Fox Drama 'Monarch'
